Propriety vs Practicality.

Propriety vs practicality.

These two words are very important when trying to holistically understand our deen. As believers we must be mindful of propriety in all matters and affairs whilst, simultaneously, not suffocating the practicality of those affairs. There has to be a good balance.

Propriety refers to doing things in the proper manner, a word I have used to describe “adab”. We need to have adab with Allah, with His Messenger, sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam etc. It is this adab that is the fruit of love and the ascension to excellence. It is indicative of the God consciousness that a person has in their heart. This leads to veneration, which then leads to propriety.

There again, sometimes one needs to consider the practicality of the situation and hence one may have to forgo certain etiquettes to just balance the situation. This requires wisdom and understanding to fulfill. A simple example maybe that one has to read a few pages of Qur’an (as part of their daily awraad or revision), the proper adab would be to sit on the musalla, facing the qiblah, in a state of wudhu, in a state of reverence and humility. However, what if they have a journey that morning? Should they leave their portion as they can’t sit in the best way possible? Or should they just read during their journey, on their seat and on the phone? This was a simple example, life may bring you more.

Many of us do not know how to balance. Consequently, we see some of us engulfed in a religion void of adab. We get engrossed with the juristic limits and our deen becomes very dry and cold. Some of us are always looking for the juristic ruling, is it obligatory, is it optional? If we sense a tiny amount of permissibility we don’t think twice and engage in those actions- not even considering the adab/ propriety. Many things maybe “permissible” but are they the wisest of things to do?

One scholar remarked “don’t learn bad adab from the books of fiqh!”. Know, that when the jurists wrote chapters in their books, they did not tell us what the best thing is in every situation. Their job was to draw boundaries for us.

Imam Al Qudoori (rahimahuAllah), for example, may have outlined the method of wudhu, but he didn’t tell us how to do the best wudhu. He didn’t tell us that in order to qualify for salah we need to be in an angelic state and without wudhu we are in an animalistic state, unprepared to meet our Lord. So we do wudhu and enter a realm of spiritual purity that enables us to engage in salah. He also didn’t tell us that we should try to do wudhu in a state of remembrance as that will affect the state of our salah. That was not his job. He merely deduced the limits. He left it to us to go to books like Riyadh Al Saliheen and see how the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, perfected his wudhu.

Another example of leaving propriety is in marital matters. There are many rules and regulations within a marriage, many rights that are given. However, if one is trying to work a marriage with just following juristic limits, it will be very difficult. One needs to remember the adab. A wife must have utmost adab for her husband and the husband should have utmost adab for his wife. Remembering this should bring immense love into the relationship. The jurists gave as many guidelines as possible to try to preserve the martial relationship, but they weren’t giving any marital counselling in their books of fiqh. Couples need to also think about practicality and propriety within their relationship themselves. They need to refer to the sunnah of our blessed Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam.

I could truly go on to expound on this, but of course, time is short. Let us try to be sensible and do that which is proper, that which is more practical and that which will lead to His pleasure.

May Allah grant us understanding and acceptance. Ameen.

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Don’t Make the Teaching of Qur’an a Mere Business


Indeed, amongst the greatest of honours given to the slave of Allah is the gift of being able to convey His book to the next generation. This beautiful book that our Exalted Lord has revealed to the heart of our beloved Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, via His esteemed angel Jibraeel (‘alaihi as-Salaam). It is this very book that we read through, looking for guidance and connection to our Master. From one dimension, it is a love letter that the lover loves to read over and over again, as it reminds them of their Beloved. From the other dimension, it is an instruction manual, steering mankind towards the best of directions.

The Qur’an is such a blessed book that Allah Himself has promised in the Qur’an that He will preserve this book. Do we know how Allah preserves His book? Over the centuries of Islamic history, generation upon generation, teachers have sat and taught the noble Qur’an to their students just as they heard it from their teachers. Millions have spent sleepless nights and tearful days meticulously  memorising each word, ensuring the word is exactly or as close to as it should be. Scholars have worked tirelessly to codify rules that were heard from each recital. They experimented, tested and scrutinised the letters in such depth that one is left completely and utterly awestruck. Others worked exceptionally hard on making sure the writing of the Qur’an was accessible to the Muslims of all generations. They enhanced and enhanced, until today we have the easiest of scripts to read.

All of these people are Allah’s ambassadors on earth to preserve His book. The book of guidance and remembrance. Just imagine, the pioneers of this tradition are resting in their graves reaping rewards of an unimaginable amount, as we truly do hope. The recitation came from Allah, to Sayyidunaa Jibraeel (‘alaihi as-Salaam) to the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, then from him to the following generations, yet we say that we read in the recital of Imam ‘Aasim, or that of Imam Naafi’, for example. What a great honour these individuals have that the recital is attributed to them, when in reality they were just teaching and conveying the book in the purest of forms.

My friends, reflect on the love of these early reciters, scholars and teachers. They feared Allah and fulfilled their beautiful job of preserving the Qur’an in a truly outstanding way. We need to adopt the same attitude that our predecessors had. Today, sadly, there are many places where unqualified teachers have taken the task of teaching the Qur’an and the result has been a significant group of Muslims who struggle to read the book of Allah correctly.

Where there has been strict preservation, one sees a Muslim from the depths of the mountains reading exactly the same as a Muslim from the hustle and bustle of some of the world’s largest cities. This is indeed a miracle of the Qur’an. A miraculous result of thousands of connected chains and meticulous teaching. However, where there has been laxity, we see many major mistakes being articulated and many Muslims these days are not rectifying their mistakes. It is for this reason that we need to focus on Qur’anic learning and developing qualified teachers.

What makes a qualified teacher? You maybe asking. There is a misconception amongst our communities that anyone who graduates from an institute of Islamic learning is automatically qualified to teach the Qur’an. However, it is common experience that many graduates still commit major mistakes when reading the Qur’an. A lot of the time, many madrasahs neglect the teaching of Qur’an- this may not be for a negative reason, it may just be that there is not enough time to focus on reciting the Qur’an. Many madrasahs also do not have Tajweed specialists.

I strongly believe that Qur’an teachers need to spend significant time reading to their teachers, beyond any other studies they maybe doing. There needs to be one to one reading with a teacher who has a sanad (chain of transmission). This is to ensure that one is learning that which has been transmitted from the Prophet, sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam. This is probably the most basic requirement we can necessitate. Anything less is a dangerous path and opens up the prospect of relaxing in Qur’anic preservation. Those who are not busy with teaching the reading of Qur’an, but rather are busy with teaching the meanings of the Qur’an may not appreciate this opinion. However, the people of Qur’an have always been very careful and, out of love, fear every mistake.

Hence, if one wants to undertake the noble task of teaching the Qur’an, first of all, one should fear such a responsibility. It is a great amanah (trust) that has to be fulfilled properly. One should only start teaching if they have certainty that they can convey the book correctly, with the correct aadab (etiquettes) and seriousness that is necessary. Also, one should take their teacher’s approval. If the teacher approves, then it is sign that the student is able to undertake this heavy task. Nonetheless, one should know that the scholars of the past were very strict, some would require a full ijaazah (official permission, in the form of certification). Some opined that the teacher must have full understanding of the ‘Arabic language also! As the years passed, the scholars became more relaxed… perhaps because our necessity for teachers was greatly increasing.

Lastly, those who are teaching may take a fee for their time, but they should not make money the motive of their teaching. Too many unqualified teachers stepped into the field to amass wordly gains, but it only caused us great detriment. Let us try to become sincere teachers of His book. Let us try to revive the spirit of our blessed predecessors. Let us strive in the path of Allah to become the best of human beings, to embody Qur’anic character and radiate the rays of Qur’anic guidance.

May Allah give us all tawfeeq with goodness and expansion. Ameen.

Your seeking friend. Ma’assalamah.





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Why are you Learning Tajweed?

Why are you going to learn Tajweed? Seriously a question I wish to ask us all. Many a time, we have seen sisters join Tajweed classes and we have seen them push to progress into higher levels… some become ultra defensive and feel offended if their teacher does not progress them. Others become demotivated and just go away… then some return again and go through the whole cycle all over again.

We have got to understand that this science is a precious gift of dedicated scholars who endeavoured to preserve the wording of the Qur’an. The recitation of the Qur’an was orally transmitted and the rules came later with pioneers such as Imam Mujahid, Allamah Dani and Imam Abul Aswad Al Du’ali (rahimahumAllah) at the forefront. They are just a few names, if we study the history we will find the names of other wonderful scholars. Their concern was that, with the emergence of many Non-Arabs, the recitation may become weakened and even altered, so they extracted rules from the different recitals and collected them in different chapters of a science they termed “Tajweed”. To this day we are benefitting from their works and are living fruits of the actions they took over their concerns.

Every sincere teacher of Tajweed teaches with the same concern. The job is not to inflate the egos and tell every individual that their recitation is fine. A teacher who fears Allah constantly has on their mind that, if they leave a single mistake in their student, they will be held accountable in the court of Allah. This is why they would rather a student not progress until they deem them fit to go ahead.

Hence, a student ought to understand and rectify their intentions. I honestly believe that students who demonstrate a lack of patience in their studies are those who begun with incorrect intentions. We must intend that we are there to recitify our reading, to read it as it was revealed. Remember, Imam Ibn Al Jazari (rahimahuAllah) said ” من لم يوجود ألقرآن آثم لأنه به الإله أنزل و هاكذا منه إلينا وصل ” that “whoever does not do the Tajweed of their recitation then they are a sinner (according to his opinion), because it is with this that Allah revealed (the book) and likewise it came down to us”. Our intention should be to not make grave errors in our reading that would alter the words and also to read in a beautified manner according to the rules to get as close as possible to the reading of the leader of all prophets, our beloved Sayyiduna Muhammad, sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam.


Tajweed is a science of lovers and is conducive to developing taqwaa (God consciousness) and beautiful character when embarked upon with sincerity and humility. How it does this is a magical secret only the people of the Qur’an have experienced.Photo0359

It is also a science that requires extreme mujahadah (hard work) and devotion. For some people, Allah has made reading His book proficiently very easy, for others He has made it very difficult. Those who find it easy should thank Allah and utilise their gift in serving the deen by propagating the knowledge further down. As for those who find it difficult, they should have patience and work hardly in a state of humility- knowing that their reward lies in this very state of difficulty. Both ease and difficulty are roads to Allah and we should be content on the journey Allah chooses for us. Remember, those who are excellent in reading the Qur’an may most definitely be struggling in other fields of their religious life.

This leads onto another important point. Reading the book of Allah is like reading a love letter. It reminds us of our Beloved. It is like an instruction manual given by our Creator depicting for us the best guidance on how to lead a successful life in both worlds. In other words, the Qur’an is very personal to us and it should not be turned into a means of competition and mere self gratification. If someone else reads better, why should we ever get jealous (for the pure reason that they read better, not that we want to attain the same rewards and do this for the sake of Allah)?

Also, know that it is even more important for us to be enacting the Qur’anic verses and implementing them in our day to day lives. Even if we read well, it may actually go against us if we continue to disobey Allah. Even if we memorise the whole Qur’an, we might not ever gain benefit if we are not submitting fully to Allah. It is constantly emphasised to read the book of Allah with perfection, but how about implementing it with perfection? That is where the real ascension lies…

So please, in summary, let’s not be hasty in this beautiful journey. Don’t forget that the journey itself is a reward, infact an ocean of rewards. The destination is not important. If we reach it, all praise is for Allah, if we couldn’t then all praise is for Allah. Would we like to ascend levels and levels in this world only to descend and descend in the next? May Allah protect us. Ameen.

Remember if you are 100% to your teacher and maqbool (accepted) in their eyes, then perhaps you are a zero and mardood (rejected) in the sight of Allah Ta’alaa (may Allah protect us). If you a zero and mardood to your teacher, then perhaps you are a 100% and maqbool to Allah. Allah knows what is in our hearts and, ultimately, it is His acceptance that really counts. So please do not lose hope. Do not become demotivated, keep reading with your teacher not expecting any progress. If Allah gifts it to you, then thank your Lord and humble down in front of Him. I remember one of my teachers always used to say “فتح الله لك ” after I read… To this day I don’t know if she meant “May Allah open for you” or “Allah has opened for you”, whatever the case, the message remains the same- only Allah can open up this reading and we as humans are incapable.

May Allah grant of all of us the correct understanding and allow us to become true people of the Qur’an with goodness. Ameen.


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The Foundations of Relationship Management

One on relationship  management. .. and you know which one more specifically…
Know that it is not enough just  to have a bond, it requires effort as well to nurture that bond and keep it thriving like a farmer works on his plantation. Remember these two main principles: 1) shukr- firstly to Allah Ta’alaa for granting this great blessing  and secondly to the companion for all their efforts 2) Tawaadhu’- humility- which  prompts a person to acknowledge  their  errors and be open enough to give to another  person without stinginess.

If we consider these two principles, inshaa Allah we will have successful marriages and friendships (I will refer to marriage mostly in this article, but everything can be applied to general friendships too). Let us first discuss the importance of shukr. It is inevitable that from time to time even your closest friend will hurt you and you will be left heartbroken. However, how do we respond to such a situation? An immature response is to ignore all of the good of this person and purposely form distance or  criticise them for their errors. Rather, go to Allah and do loads of shukr to Him for granting you such a mate. It seems like a very absurd thing to mention, however there is a reason behind this. Allah Ta’alaa says in the Qur’an” وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لَأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ ” [Q14:7] (Remember when your Lord declared, “if you show gratitude then indeed I will increase you and if you are ungrateful then indeed my punishment is severe”. Always be grateful for your mate, even when you are upset with them. Inshaa Allah, Allah will increase the beauty in your relationship.

Mention to Allah all of the qualities you are pleased about in your spouse/mate and fervently thank Him; but as for those qualities you do not like, ask Allah to rectify them and make you content. At the end of the day, two people will always be different to one degree or the other. Especially in marriage. The beauty of two people who make it work is that they make their differences their strengths and learn to appreciate each other, which dilutes the discomfort of having slightly different habits or dispositions. A truly blessed union is one where, despite the differences, a couple find tranquillity in one another- which cannot be described in words.

This leads onto the necessity of showing shukr to the mate themselves. Do not hide your positive feelings . Your mate needs to know how you are feeling. Tell them clearly how happy you are for all they do. Let them know that you appreciate their efforts. Here and there add gifts into the picture to give them a physical token of gratitude. When they do something which pleases you, tell them clearly.

One great gift, sadly some people forget, is the gift of expressing love often. Mention those precious three words often and do not leave your mate starved of verbal expression on how much you love them. Sometimes those words are enough to dispel many tensions.

Going onto Tawaadhu‘. If I was asked, what are the two most important words in a relationship? I would say selflessness and trust. A relationship is bound to be in trouble when one or both of the parties are suffering from the disease of pride. Pride is such a poison that blinds and deafens a person to the degree that they forget the emotional needs of their closest friend. It is important to be humble and willing to bear many sacrifices for one’s beloved if one is to have a healthy relationship.  It requires giving up selfishness to keep the mate happy. It requires thinking many times before even doing the most mundane of activities. If a spouse, for example, feels that their spouse is being too selfish, it can create in their minds and hearts a dangerous stress. Sometimes, a spouse who ends up neglecting their spouse’s emotional needs becomes blind to the stress and pain they are causing. Then comes one day where their partner cannot tolerate it anymore and at the least breaks down in front of them… and at the most, leaves them.

So finally, what if there is tension and stress? What should one do? A couple should always be open to one another. One should wisely and calmly communicate their feelings to their spouse as soon as possible. One should let them know that they were hurt and advise their partner on how to improve. The partner should then humbly apologise and the couple, together, should resolve any tension straight away. They should never keep it piling until it leads to a severe problem. May Allah protect us, sometimes if tension is left piling, it one day becomes too heavy to carry anymore. Hence, communication is paramount and this relationship should continuously be revolving around forgiveness and mercy.

These advices are definitely not exhaustive, however, I felt to mention the most important points which I feel may affect a couple the most.The most important thing is duaa to Allah and fixing your bond with Allah. If we rectify our connection with Allah, inshaa Allah He will rectify our bonds with the people.

Allah knows best and He is the One sought for help. May Allah Ta’alaa give us the wisdom to treasure our relationships and refine our characters through them. Ameen.




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A Spiritual Perspective to Looking for a Spouse


As any reader may have noticed, I am not particularly regular in posting on this blog, however I have kept this blog running to benefit those who maybe seeking Allah. This happens to be the first post of 2016- a year that truly changed my life wherein Allah out of His infinite mercy graced me with my dear husband. For a while I had felt to write a post advising sisters on the kind of spouse to look for and now I feel this is the best time to prepare this post. I do this with the intention to help sisters (especially) in their search and to give them hope that one day Allah will indeed accept their duaas. I cannot be too explicit in my own story as we like to keep the full story to ourselves.

For three years or so I had been on a spiritual sabbatical (as one sister put it)… I had graduated from university and decided to spend time focusing on mending my relationship with Allah. By His mercy alone, I shunned the thought of a career and was blessed by Allah to spend time serving His deen. All the while I had marriage on my mind. Allah blessed me with the desire to get married for His sake. Along the way Allah taught me many lessons pertaining to the search for a spouse.

Al hamdu lillah I did not desire much from my prospective spouse. I couldn’t exactly verbalise what I was looking for, but I asked Allah earnestly for all I could think of. As the journey began, I realised it would not be an easy one. By His grace people of knowledge also passed their proposals forward but something was missing… sometimes to me the implementation did not match the level of knowledge or sometimes brothers (and/or their families) were too relaxed on the shar’i rules revolving hijab and niqaab.

As time progressed, my age increased and my mother’s worry intensified, my duaas to Allah became deeper. However, I was not ready to accept someone who had little desire in his heart for Allah. In almost every duaa I begged Allah for a special kind of person to be my partner… I asked Allah for 3 things in conclusion: that he should love Allah, that he should love me for His sake and that he should help me increase in my love for Allah.

I was not sure exactly which person would be better and who would be worse- this Allah taught me by giving me different proposals and by me experiencing rejection or having to turn away myself. The cycle of waiting and anticipation was not easy, but I had to rely upon Allah. It was the Ramadhan of 2015 that I became very serious and intended to tie my camel hard. I begged Allah to give me the means and very soon after Allah opened doors for me… I tried every method within shar’i limits. Although al hamdu lillah I did receive a good prospect from these means, it too withered away. However, it was after this proposal I learnt what I was looking for- I needed a brother with tasawwuf/tazkiyah despite everything else.

Then I came to a phase of complete mental exhaustion. I felt like a real pauper in front of Allah. There were no more means for me to exploit and I surrendered to Allah. With a lump in my throat I vented my frustration to Allah and told Him “there must be someone who is looking for someone like me!” I asked Allah for that person.

Spontaneously, Allah reminded me of a particular brother who I knew of through one of my friend’s brother. My friend had wished three years back to pass my name over to the brother (through her brother) as she thought he would be the best for me. I too was quite interested and always felt a strange pull towards him- however, for some reasons my friend could not pass the proposal over. For the next few years, I had forgotten about this brother and was busy considering other proposals.

Now, I remembered him and all of the sudden I became silent and thought again…yes? I found out that he was still looking himself. That strange feeling of familiarity dawned upon me again. My eyes almost watered at the prospect of thinking that he seemed to be who I was looking for, but I pacified myself  saying that Allah has even better for me. Yet Allah inspired me to make duaa. I first asked Allah to grant him a good righteous spouse… a duaa I felt awkward making as somewhere in a deep corner of my heart I felt “what if I am his decreed spouse?”. After a small while, the feeling of familiarity became overwhelming and I thought to myself “why am I limiting the mercy of ALlah?” I asked Allah to join us if it was a good match because it was a case of “you seem to be who I am looking for and I seem to be who you are looking for”.

I had no idea how it would happen but I asked Allah to pass my proposal over to the brother. I trusted Allah. Nonetheless, I could not conceive that it would actually happen so soon… two to three weeks later one of my teachers informed me that a brother was interested in marriage. In my heart I felt it must be only one person. It was him.

I still feel so incapable  of thanking Allah enough for blessing me and helping me in this manner. After the elders had finished discussing and we too were content, by Allah’s mercy six weeks later we were married. After nikaah, my husband told me how he got to know of me… but this is our secret and I shall not share. I learnt through this whole search that sometimes you will employ means after means but when the time is right Allah will give you without any means! Al hamdu lillah, my husband may not be very knowledgeable, nor very rich in terms of wealth… but he certainly loves Allah and struggles for His sake. This I shall always commend him for. I did not look at his age, his job or education… I accepted him because Allah is his top priority.

The amazement and wonder at Allah’s mercy will not depart from me. I see my husband sometimes and I cannot help but think this man is now with me… someone I had asked Allah for not knowing what would happen… I reflect on how Allah didn’t let us get married a few years back. Allah gave us both time to spiritually develop and grow. I had some strong spiritual responsibilities and I felt in my heart that Allah wanted me to first focus on completing this venture… It happened to be that just over a month of completing this venture I was married. Al hamdu lillah. Now, Allah has taught me that the pull I kept on feeling was in reality due to the fact that this person I had known from aalam e arwah (the world of the souls, where the souls reside before being born in this world).

In a nutshell, what I learnt was that we should certainly struggle and strive our best to attain what we desire- this is to say that we should tie our camels whilst trusting wholeheartedly in Allah. We should beg Allah with deep tears and wait patiently yet agonisingly for His opening. To marry was something I had been making duaa for over quite a few years. My intention in marrying Allah knows and need not be disclosed but I took it as an act of worship and was avid to undertake it. I had tried and tried, I had used up all of the means Allah gave me and that was it… I surrendered to Allah… I felt there was not anything for me to do anymore. It was right after this point that Allah Ta’alaa showered His mercy upon me and opened the doors. Hence, we should beg Allah for what we desire of the good and trust Him whilst keeping steadfast on those duaas. When the state of ridhaa (contentment) overcomes us and we surrender to Allah, that is when inshaa Allah the doors will open.

Advice for those looking:

Those life experiences of mine may have already taught a great deal, however, I do wish to dedicate a section of this post advising the readers  of how to look for a spouse and what to look for in a spouse.

The first and foremost thing is to make a solid intention. The intention should be pure and pious. It should be one of pure resolution and not mere thoughts. Then one must continuously make duaa to Allah for help and guidance in this matter. As the search is progressing, one must be working on their heart and mending their relationship with Allah. If we want a successful marriage that is blessed by Allah then it is not far fetched to say that we must become Allah’s friends or at least try to so that we can enjoy the special blessings from Him that He grants to those who struggle in His way.

A serious search is necessary. One must inform their network of their intention to get married and employ all other means if necessary. Only after all of the means have been utilised can a person sit down and “wait” for the spouse to come inshaa Allah. If we do nothing and are hoping that we will get married then that is just like thinking money will fall from the sky… Make sure that all shar’i laws are upheld during the search. There should be no relationship or contact before marriage. One small meeting with basic questions should suffice. The rest of the details should be enquired from the elders. A tip especially for my sisters, please research as to who the brother accompanies. Make sure that his company is pious people and that his “record” is clean. Sometimes, asking elders to talk to his friends or close ones is a good idea. Keep on doing multiple istikhaarah and profuse duaa throughout. Once the decision has been made, do not wait, marry as soon as possible. There should be no talking  to each other during this phase. Believe me, after nikaah Allah will grant a special mercy that will help you bond with your spouse straight away inshaa Allah.

So what should you look for in a spouse? One of the best advices I read before marriage is this: there are three types of practising Muslims- the aabid (worshipper), the aalim (learned one) and the aashiq (the lover), if you had to choose between them choose the aashiq! What does this mean? Even if the brother is not a person of tahajjud or a person of knowledge if he has left the love of dunya, has passion for Allah in his heart and will struggle hard to please Him then this brother is the brother to go for inshaa Allah. One who loves Allah will automatically love you and grant you your rights inshaa ALlah. Of course, a lover is not a lover who disobeys his Beloved. If you find an aalim who is aashiq then that is light upon light… but don’t just say yes because the brother has a fancy title…look carefully into his character and approach to deen. If he seems to be too relaxed and engrossed in dunya, you can step back. A way to discern what is his priority is by observing carefully as to what his demands are and what questions are being asked. If he constantly asks about deen then it is a sign that deen is the most important to him. If he asks questions about dunya time and time again then it is a sign that he is struggling with love for this world.

At the end of the day, who will benefit you in marriage? The brother with the highest degree? The best job or heaviest bank account? No, a brother with deep passion for deen and exquisite character is who will facilitate marriage for you by His permission.So remember to prioritise wisely. Marriage is not a fancy fairytale. A lot of work is needed in order to maintain the sanctity of the marriage and general life. Some youngsters are looking for “fun” and great ventures with the spouse  (which is not always a problem) not realising that marriage is about commitment and hard work.


Leave sins. Work hard on becoming Allah’s true slave and marry for the sake of Allah. Keep on trying and making lots of duaa. Soon Allah will give inshaa Allah. Never place expectations in the people, but place all your hopes and expectations in Allah. Allah will always be loyal to your expectations whereas people will always fail to meet your expectations. Be content with Allah’s decree and be grateful when the spouse comes inshaa Allah… the grass CAN be greener on the other side… but it depends on where you have perched your garden…

Please make duaa for me and my husband, that Allah accepts our marriage, that He allows us to serve the deen and that through us He revives the ummah. JazaakumAllah.

A slave of Allah.










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12 Golden Principles Regarding the Tarbiyah of Children- Hazrat Jee Shaykh Zulfiqar Sahib (HafidhahuALlah)


These are notes compiled from a beautiful bayan of Hazrat Jee Shaykh Zulfiqar Ahmad Sahib (hafidhahuAllah) pertaining to the tarbiyah of children. Hazrat Jee presents 12 golden principles to maintain whilst dealing with children. This selection of 12 golden principles is surely a testimony to Hazrat Jee’s piercing wisdom. Mashaa Allah. We ask Allah Ta’alaa that He preserve Hazrat Jee and make him from the successful and accepted slaves. Ameen.

Prerequisites to these 12 golden principles:

In order for these 12 golden principles to have maximum effect inshaa ALlah Ta’alaa it is very important that the carers take care of a few prerequisites:

  1. The mother should be ready to give tarbiyah and must be calm. Some husbands give a tough time to the wife and at times even front of the children do her dishonouring- this will lead to children not taking their mother’s words seriously. The husband must be supportive and show to the children the importance of their mother and that her word must be taken.If the mother is constantly stressed she will not be able to give the due attention required in the tarbiyah of the children.
  2. The mother should instil the greatness of the children’s father in their hearts. She should lead them to respecting him and seeing him as one of authority whose words need to be taken into heed.
  3. The environment of the house should be in correspondence (to the shariat and sunnat). If there are other family members in the house, they should also be supportive of this intention to raise the children on goodness and piety. If they are not supportive and are acting in contrary to the shariat it is a wise idea to move into one’s own accommodation close to the parents so that the children can get a safe environment to learn and implement their deen.

The 12 golden principles:

  1. The first and foremost is to make duaa for your children. Hazrat Jee recalls how, when he was little, his mother used to wake up for tahajjud and make deep loud duaas for each and every single child of hers. Hazrat Jee used to wake up to observe this, when his name was mentioned he would go back to sleep. SubhanAllah. A side point to this is that one should never do baddua (curse) against their child.
  2. Deal with the children in a manner of love and compassion.
  3. When giving naseehah to children make sure you advise them at the right time. Hazrat Jee mentioned that four times are optimum for the child being receptive to the advice: during travel (even if it be a small walk or drive), at night time before sleeping, whilst eating and when the child is ill.
  4. Speak to them at their own intellectual level, such that they can understand your message.
  5. This leads onto point 5. This is to use clear words when addressing children. A simple concise message goes far inshaa Allah.
  6. Narrate stories to the children as this will, inshaa ALlah, help them understand and also motivate them.
  7. Practically demonstrate the message to them. Be a living example for them.
  8. Support the children in doing good deeds. Make asbaab (means bi idhniALlah) for them to do good inshaa Allah.
  9. Treat each child equally and do not favour one over the other. This can form jealousy in the hearts of the children and is certainly very spiritually unhealthy for them.
  10. Teach the children the importance of sunnah. SubhanAllah, the sunnah is like the blue sky, wherever we go we see it. In every situation of life we can relate it back to the sunnah of our beloved Prophet, sallALlahu alaihi wa sallam.
  11. Allow the children to play, but get them educational toys rather than “spoiling” toys. One can give a video game on the laptop which is free of impermissible things, such as music and immodesty. However, it should be given as a CD form and the child should never have access to the internet on the laptop (and other devices too).
  12. Lastly Hazrat Jee mentions that parents shouldn’t criticise the child. This can have drastic effects. Be positive. The child needs a muslih (guide who can help them rectify) not a critic.

I pray to Allah that I have conveyed Hazrat Jee’s message well and I ask for forgiveness for all of my inaccuracies. Ameen.

You can listen to the full lecture here (in Urdu) for more detail and further explanation:

JazaakumAllah. Requesting your duaas.

Binte Abd Al Hannan.


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Du’aa- The Core of Worship

How blessed are those people who know how to ask Allah. One is making duaa, but another thing is knowing how to make duaa to Allah Ta’alaa.Those who know the aadab of duaa, it seems subhanAllah that they have been blessed with the treasures of both worlds by Allah subhanAllah, as everything comes their way with afiyat inshaa Allah. Talking about duaa, 2 things we need to consider inshaa Allah. 1) How to do duaa? 2) What is the acceptance of duaas?

1) We must ask Allah Ta’alaa with aajizi, humility, like a beggar. We should always do izhaar of our weakness and beg Allah. We must never ask for difficulties so that we can show off our patience, but rather we should always be asking for good because we are weak. Hence, in the tiniest of things we should beg Allah, this shows our faqr to Allah and Allah Ta’alaa loves that inshaa Allah. I give you a common scenario, you are out looking for parking, so you make duaa to Allah to help you and then when you see the spot, you don’t stop making duaa until Allah takes you there… because you feel the aajizi that you have no control what if somebody else takes it before you? Or you cannot understand a certain text and you are constantly making duaa to Allah until it opens up for you inshaa Allah. SUbhanAllah. You lose something, you make duaa to Allah until you find it inshaa ALlah. Likewise in other situations subhanAllah.

Then bring tears in your asking, cry… learn to cry. During duaa it is about being a faqeer and affirming His greatness. Call Allah by His beautiful names.

We are so worried when some slave is next to us who has an infection, that what if I contract this infection?. Ah! O slaves, it is only Allah who makes us ill, not the friend next to us subhanAllah. These microorganisms are just asbaab (means) and only Allah gives them permission to do their action. If Allah wills He can stop their effect, He can make your immune system so strong that no infection finds a way bi idhniAllah. When you feel illness coming, beg Allah! My Allah I am so weak, if I become sick, how will I do your ibadat? How will I have the energy to serve your deen? Beg Allah. Inshaa Allah Allah will remove the illness, or maybe He will make it slight and give you energy through it, or maybe He will give you it but with lots of reward as well inshaa Allah. So beg Allah.

2) Duaa in of itself is subhanAllah a beautiful way of connecting to Allah Ta’alaa. Allahu Akbar, Nabi jee sallAllahu alaihi wa sallam said that du’aa is the core of worship. The acceptance of duaas is not just through seeing exactly what you asked for… but there is a deeper dimension. Sometimes, Allah Ta’alaa delays the acceptance of duaas so that He increases your reward and because He loves to see you asking, subhanAllah. Keep on asking sincerely inshaa Allah. Eventually, there comes a beautiful state of contentment. Allahu Akbar, a slave becomes satisfied with whatever the outcome, despite having made duaa for something else. This comes through this delayed duaa and the long waiting subhanAllah. Radhaa bil qadhaa (contentment with decree) is a highly praised maqaam with Allah and if Allah blesses us with it, we should be extremely grateful inshaa Allah.

If the duaa is not answered straight away, then inshaa Allah the qubooliyyat (acceptance) will be seen later on and if not inshaa Allah one will see it in the form of a difficulty being erased in exchange of the duaa. Or, subhanAllah, the reward will be seen in the hereafter and then the slave would wish that none of his duaas were answered in the world… subhanALlah.

So be patient and wait for acceptance inshaa Allah with aajizi and love. Inshaa Allah. MAy Allah Ta’alaa aid us all to become people of beautiful duaas that He accepts and loves. Ameen ya Rabb!

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A Beautiful Hamd/Munajaat in Urdu – Tujhko ya Rabb main har dam pukara karo…

What is the aashiq asking his Lord? Read this nazm and listen to the link that will be provided inshaa Allah…

“Tujhko ya Rabb mein har dam pukara karo,
Qalb mein naam Tera utara karo,
Dunya faani se aksar mein muh mor lo,
Faqat rishta Tere zaat se jor lo,
Zikr e Allah Allah piyara karo,
Qalb mein naam Tera utara karo,
Zikr Tera karo mein subho masaa,
Chah jaye har eik rag pe aisa nashaa,
Zikr kar ke dubara dubara paro,
Qalb mein naam Tera utara karo,
Sab gunahon se kaise khalaasi mile,
Qalb se isiyan ki siyahi chate,
Zikr e Allah se imaan niyara karo,
Qalb mein naam Tera utara karo,
Chor jate jooti sajan yaar hain,
Har waade pe Allah wafadaar hain,
Kiyun na phir zikr bas mein Tumhara karo,
Qalb mein naam Tera utara karo,
Tu hain Ghaffar mere gunah bakhsh de,
Apne Rahmat mein mujko pana bakhsh de,
Ab to har ik gunah ka kaffarah karo,
Qalb mein naam Tera utara karo,
Tere Rahmat ki mika(?) talabgaar hoon,
Hoon khaton pe taaib gunahgaar hoon,
Jurmo isyan se har dam kinara karo,
Qalb mein naam Tera utara karo,
Mujh pe hamla ho jab nafs o shaytan ka,
Naam mere labon pe ho Rahman ka,
Zikre Allah se inko bichara karo,
Qalb mein naam Tera utara karo,
Aya dar pe Tere jo bhi saail Ilaah!
Khaali joli liye woh kabhi na gaya,
Laa mahdud hain Tere bakhshish shahah,
Apne sachhi mohabbat mujhe kar ataa,
Samne Tere daman pasara karo,
Qalb mein naam Tera utara karo,Kar raha hain Tujhse yeh Kashif du’aa,
Apne har hukm ka isko taabi’ bana,
Naam se Tere bigri sawara karo,
Qalb mein naam Tera utara karo,
Tujhko ya Rabb mein har dam pukara karo,
Qalb mein naam Tera utara karo,”

SubhanAllah Al ‘Adheem. Forgive me for the errors in the Urdu transcribing, I am not a native speaker.


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Advice for Exams and Mujarrab (tested) ‘Amal for Success Inshaa Allah

As the month of Sha’ban is coming to a close, many students of knowledge will inshaa Allah be sitting their final yearly exams inshaa Allah. Remember, the goal is not only to get the best grades, but to also live the knowledge that has been learnt throughout the year inshaa Allah. The grades are just to give an idea of our progress and what still needs work academically. However, spiritually, we must also make an assessment as to how much we have improved and whether this year was just like the previous. If we left all sins, or at least most, this year then al hamdu lillah this is something to do immense shukr to Allah for. If we still are sinning with any faculty Allah has provided us then seems like we have failed. So we need to use Ramadhan inshaa Allah to charge up again.

You probably must have realised that my habit, whenever advising students, is to always mention the connection to Allah first. This is because ilm is a noor and the noor of Allah is not granted to a sinner illaa mashaa Allah. Think about your eyes- did they see anything wrong? If a person has a habit of watching TV/Movies/ Indecent Internet videos … then certainly at least 1 sin has been committed. Contemplate deeply about what happens after just 20 mins of not lowering the gaze from Non Mahrams on these programmes and all of these sins they commit. A true believer can feel their spiritual state change inshaa Allah with sin. Think about your tongue- did it say anything wrong? If one has a habit of conversing with companions for long amounts of time then certainly at least 1 sin has been committed illaa mashaa Allah. Think about your hands, feet and every limb. Was it in accordance to the ahkaam of ALlah Ta’alaa? If not do intense tawbah. Know that sins will starve you of success in studying illaa mashaa Allah. Some students beg for advice for help and when they are told just do istighfaar and tawbah… somehow it’s not enough. No this is it. The noor of Allah is not attracted by force! It is a mercy, grace and tawfeeq of ALlah Ta’alaa and we are only fooling ourselves if we feel we can receive that by displeasing Him. Those who have outwardly left sins, don’t think you are someone amazing. You are still a faqeer to Allah. Think deeply about your inner sins, your lack of ikhlaas, your ‘ujb (pride) and other things. Be constantly working hard to develop your heart and make it sound bi idhniAllah. If you can’t find sins to do tawbah for, do tawbah for forgetting ALlah and not doing His worship properly.

Now, alongside this spiritual revolution, do your revision calmly. Do not stress. Do what you can inshaa Allah, in an efficient manner. I would advise to list down all of the topics for your subjects and calmly go through as many as you can in a set amount of time. If you are feeling lazy, convince yourself that you will only do 5 mins today. Inshaa Allah if you do your 5 minutes, very good mashaa Allah, but you are bound to stay for longer and will want to continue inshaa Allah. Do not neglect your duties to Allah through revision. Try to do a few rounds of takraar… perhaps doing 10 quick rounds of revision on a particular topic is better than 1 long round of studying- that way inshaa Allah you will remember your topic much better inshaa ALlah. These are just some tips, ALlah knows best.

Here is a mujarrab (tried and tested) ‘amal I collected from a post some time ago. Try to do it for every exam inshaa Allah.

“1) Before going to Examination hall read Surat Al Qalam. Then do duaa.

2) Then before attempting to answer the paper, turn it over and do these ‘amal:

11 x “Subhanaka laa ‘ilma lanaa illaa maa ‘allamtanaa innaka anta-l- ‘Aleemu-l-Hakeem”


11 x “Ya Fattah”


7 x “wAllahu-l-Musta’aanu ‘alaa maa taSifoon” (from wazaaif al saliheen)

Before this amal do durood sharif 3 times and do durood sharif after the exam 3 times as well inshaa Allah. Inshaa Allah Allah will grant sharh al sadr. These are mujarrab actions, not necessarily from sunnah but the elders have experienced great faidah from them. No harm in doing so inshaa Allah.

May Allah Ta’alaa grant us all success in both worlds. Ameen ya Rabb!

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Lessons from a Child’s Love

Observe little kids. If their parents expose them to a “superhero” they fall madly in love with that so called superhero. They want to dress like him, they want to watch things about him, they want books about him, they want posters about him, they want so much… in other words they get obsessed with a fictional character. Some teenagers do the same but with actors and singers…subhanAllah…

Now, Muslims we state at least 10-11 times in our prayers during tahiyyat that “Wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan ‘abduhu wa rasooluh- I testify that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger” (sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) yet we aren’t dressing like him, we aren’t speaking like him, we aren’t eating like him, we aren’t drinking like him, we are not acting with mercy like him, we aren’t smiling like him, we aren’t even treating out families the noble blessed way he did…What kind of love is that?

In that regard, doesn’t it seem like the little kids are more loyal lovers than ourselves? We have a habit of quoting hadith XYZ with so much pride as if though we know more than our scholars but when we zoom into our lives we neither follow the external sunnah nor the internal sunnah. What kind of disloyal lovers are we? Our Beloved Prophet sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam is being mocked by the people, why? Cause we aren’t bothered to show people the truthfully merciful person he was ?So when we do something wrong, they point fingers at our Beloved Prophet sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam instead of us?

It saddens me when I see the faces of Muslim men with no beard (exempting those who genetically or medically can’t). How can we say that “oh it’s just a sunnah, you don’t have to do it!” Allahu Akbar, what is this? When he sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam turned his blessed face away from a people who did not have a beard? And remember he was a mercy for all. He never made anybody feel like they were not being given attention and subhanAllah these people deserved his disgust.

Ask a loyal kid who loves his spider man, if spider man hates apples, what will the kid do? Ajeeb is our love! Ajeeb! The final point to mention is that look, let’s not ever get our kids in love with these fictional characters, with these footballers and what not, we need to show them that the only “superhero” in full meaning was our Beloved Prophet sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam. Inshaa Allah once they fall in love with him, there will be no going back for them…inshaa Allah.

May Allah grant us all the ability to adopt the sunnah of His beloved sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam and may He grant us the opportunity to see our Beloved sallAllahu ‘alaihi wa sallam in our dreams and in the hereafter.


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